When your making Chili...use cooked beans

A few days ago, I was debating my dinner options...I knew I was working till late and wouldn't feel like cooking when I returned, so I decided to prepare something that would reheat brilliantly and also satisfy my buds.  I concluded on the universal delight, Chili.  I'm just going to throw it out there, chili is fantastic.  It's sloppy, it's dirty and you can literally mix and match.  Just throw random shit in the pot and watch it grow; nurse it, caress it, tell it everything's going to be alright....then you let it go...and my  god, it's wonderful...

Anyway, I did a little shopping, organized myself and started the party.  Things were rollin', pieces were taking shape, time to toss in the beans (I friggin love beans, fyi, their extremley under appreciated).   This is the part where things went from good, to really, really bad...


It would appear as though I'm somewhat of an occasional blonde..  Known to fumble with the opening of drawers, or putting a magnet on the fridge, frequent fuck ups with basic tasks litter my existence.  Cooking should not be excluded...you see I had seen red kidney beans in the cupboard earlier that day and didn't think to buy some.  These particular kidney beans were uncooked, all good....I took a mean swig of beer and carelessly emptied the entire bag (over 3 cups worth into the pot.) Stir, stir stir, enjoy the beauty of this red slop before me and not think twice about the fundamentals of bean cookery.  

Chilli before the bean fiasco 

Some time passed, and  I was feeling pretty groovy..I checked the beans; they were still hard...no worries I thought, they should soften after sitting in the pot for a few hours.  However, something inside me said, no....it's all wrong, go check on-line and see how to cook beans.  This is when panic mode set in.  I ran to my computer, looked up cooking red kidney beans, and to my horror I discovered not only did you have to soak them in cold water for hours, but you also had to boil them for hours afterwards.  Even worse, it claimed you could get severely ill from ingesting as little as four.  I had had at least five!  Shit, shit shit...dinners ruined and I'm going to vomit everywhere!  I checked my time, and had about 45 minutes until I had to leave for work.  I couldn't just leave the beans in the pot, and I'm not one to back down from a project...so I did the only thing I could do at this point.....I began picking the beans, one by one out of the pot.

Sweat beaded my forehead, tunnel vision transpired, I stood over that damn pot and shoved my hands inside the mess before me.  One by one, I picked, plucked and scooped every bean I could find.  But I was not done, no no, I was not satisfied, this is not Texas ladies and Gentelemand and I like beans in my god dammed chilli!  So what did I do?  I fucking booked it to the store....ran like a bitch in heat to the closest supermarket, grabbed a 99 cent can of precooked beans and sprinted home.   I poured those bad boys in, with about 15 minutes to spare, jumped in the shower and began to do something I've never done before...pray.

I would return a few hours later, reheated my chili and hoped for the best...you know what?  It wasn't bad, in fact it was awesome, I had somehow saved the day, and had learned a valuable lesson in the end. 

So what's this chili recipe you ask?  Well if done properly it's easy and it's fun, and I include corn chips like fritos for a salty crunch, (seriously try them, they add such a nice consistency)

Matt's Junk Food Chili!

I'm aware you can't really see the chilli, I went a little wild with the fritos and cheese, still tasty!

Ingredients  

11 ounces ground beef 

• 1 (15 ounce) can chili beans, drained (cooked!!!!!)
• 3/8 (15 ounce) can chili beans in spicy sauce
• 5/8 (28 ounce) can diced tomatoes with juice
• 3/8 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
• 3/8 large yellow onion, chopped
• 1 stalk celery, chopped
• 1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped
• 1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
• 2 jalapeños, seeded and chopped
• 1 teaspoon bacon bits
• 1-1/4 cubes beef bouillon
• half a can of beer
• 1 tablespoon and 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 3/4 teaspoon ground cumin
• 2 tablespoon hot  sauce (e.g. Franks)
• 1/4 teaspoon dried basil
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon paprika
• 1/4 teaspoon white sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
• bag corn chips such as Fritos
• shredded Cheddar cheese

1. Heat a large stock pot over medium-high heat. Crumble the ground beef into the hot pan, and cook until evenly browned. Drain off excess grease.

2. Pour in the chili beans, spicy chili beans, diced tomatoes and tomato paste. Add the onion, celery, green and red bell peppers, chile peppers, bacon bits, bouillon, and beer. Season with chili powder, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, oregano, cumin, hot  sauce, basil, salt, pepper, cayenne, paprika, nutmeg, cinnamon and sugar. Stir to blend, then cover and simmer over low heat for at least 2 hours, stirring occasionally

3. After 2 hours, taste, and adjust salt, pepper, and chili powder if necessary. The longer the chili simmers, the better it will taste. Remove from heat and serve, or refrigerate, and serve the next day.

4. To serve, ladle into bowls, and top with corn chips and shredded Cheddar cheese.

There you go!  It's a great recipe and will be a sure hit, as long as you use cooked beans!!

   

Check out another friends Blog

My buddy Matti, is biking across Canada for a good cause, can we say STUD?!?!  Check out his daily adventures...http://avoidingmooseonbikes.blogspot.ca/

Check out my friends blog

So my friend Shutter who knows way more about food than I ever will has started a food blog, check it out, good tips and good times!
http://shotsbyshutter.blogspot.ca/

Burger Bonanza

So it's a well known fact that I'm a self confessed  burger snob...and this city has emerged as somewhat of a burger mecca over the last few years.  In my early 20's, the only way you could acquire a decent burger was at a brightly lit hole in the wall in East York, while a sweaty and surly Greek man dangled his sausage like fingers over your toppings.

Don't get me wrong, those filthy dives and angry Greeks are still fantastic, but with the boom of all the gourmet burgers shops popping up and restaurants highlighting their burgers, as oppose to having them as an option for unadventurous eaters, Toronto is in the middle of burger fever.  We even had a burger week about a month back and everyone went wild.  Now there's quite a few burgers in the city I'm yet to try; The Harbord Room, Golden Star, Dangerous Dans etc...but I have compiled a list of the five best beef burgers I've experienced thus far (in or out of the city.)

5.  Bymark 8 Oz U.S.D.A Prime Burger:  Yes it's expensive ($35) and ridiculously rich with it's mountains of gooey brie, grilled king mushrooms and fabulously buttery bun, and yes it made me feel like crap for about two days after eating it, but this burger was an undertaking nonetheless.  It literally melts and oozes and juices trickle down your arm, which you will generously lap up with a shit eating grin on your face.

4. Restaurant 27 Poutine Burger:  So this place took me by surprise.  First of all it's in Red Deer Alberta, a town visited by necessity, not by choice.  I was on tour last summer and the truck I was travelling in broke down.  We were stranded for three days in Alberta's equivalent to Oshawa, and hunger struck.  Looking for a place to eat this spot was recommended, and we went on a whim.  Maybe it was the excessive alcohol consumed (it usually is) or maybe it was just an amazing burger, but the night has not been forgotten.  Unassumingly good food is one of my joys in life, when your expectations are low or non-existent. This hearty and meaty Alberta beef burger topped with fresh cut fries, gravy and squeaky cheese curds, made me happy to be in Red Deer if only for a moment; and my god, that moment was beautiful.  

3. Cartel Street Food Bar Kobe Beef sliders with Foie Gras:  I got to know to these sliders back in the fall of last year.  I was spending a lot of time in Montreal and basking in it's culinary reign. This restaurant was relatively new at the time and focusses on gourmet street food in small plate form.  I have never had kobe beef or foie gras, and my introduction was sweet.  Richer than the Bymark burger, and epitomizing pure Montreal indulguence, these dirty little bad boys made me believe again.  They were so rich, and thank god they were small, because I could barely finish one.

Not the actual sliders, but you get the picture

2. Burgers Priest Vatican City:  Ok, so of course Burgers Priest has to be on this list.  Fairly standard for the Toronto Burger scene.  We all know what the Priest is about.   Take classic diner style burgers, slap some good old American cheese on them, and get down with Jesus.  It's the hottest burger joint to hit the big smoke, maybe ever.  I opted for their 'secret menu' which is relatively easy to find (go to their facebook page) and I decided to attempt their 'Vatican City.'  So the 'Vatican City' is basically a grilled cheese sandwich, two burger pattys,(both topped with cheese), and rounded off with another grilled cheese sandwich.  Now this is the first time I've jumped on the 'gluttonous mess' train and I enjoyed the ride.  It was tasty and indulgent and everything it was cracked up to be and I felt like had just spent the night with a tranny.  It better have been amazing, because there's no other reason to go to Queen and Coxwell.   Below is the video of me and the 'Vatican City.'

 

1. Holy Chuck The Holy Chuck: And so we come to the best burger I've tasted, possibly of all time.  It was a disturbingly hot day at the Honda Indy at Exhibition Place and I would eventually be escorted out of the grounds by security, but it was all worth it, for I had a religious experience.  Toronto Life Magazine rated Holy Chuck, Toronto's best burger, and they do not lie.  I was working without a permit on the grounds, doing the product sampling stuff I do, (i.e handing free stuff out to people) and I discovered my favourite area at any festival...the hedonistic pleasure zone known as the food area.  Like a little boy in a candy store, or a pervert in a strip club, I gleefully tap danced down the row of food options, trying to decide what to indulge in.  Then I saw the sign, Holy Chuck, and I was reformed. They had set up a stand there, and for some odd reason there was no line, so I stepped right up and ordered their signature burger; The Holy Chuck.  And holy shit it was good.  I stood there and marvelled at it glistening in the sun, a double cheeseburger, topped with caramelized onions and bacon, the disclaimer begs, 'PLEASE DON'T PUT ON ANY TOPPINGS,' and I obeyed.  And then I made sweet, sweet love.  Juicy, tender, melt in your mouth and all around orgasmic, it kept me going, until security ordered me to leave, took my photo so I wouldn't re-enter and pushed me to the exit.  P.s I saw Guy Fieri while I was being escorted out, super neat!  All in all, an eventful day and an even better burger.    

So that's it, my fav burgers I've had so far....there's so many amazing burgers out there, and I will never stop hunting them down.

Super Sexy Summer Recipe

Ok....so I'm all about bright vibrant colours, give me some lime, give me some fruit, give me some tang, I'm ready to party.  As a kid I was attracted to beverage flavours like 'blue' and 'neon green.'  My love for these exciting, technicolours have transpired into an adult appreciation.  So last night, I decided to tackle some sexy summer colours and flavours (you will note, I add the word sexy to many of my recipes)  My favourite little guide, the LCBO food and drink guide, assisted me in this undertaking.  Now we are lucky enough to have this fantastic market right by our apartment, called the St Lawrence Market (http://www.stlawrencemarket.com/), it was recently voted one of the best markets in the world , and I pompously chortle at the tourists while they meander around, as I frequent the market at least 4 times a week.

So this recipe is lengthy and took about two hours to prepare and make, with my girlfriend reluctantly chipping in.  It cost roughly $20, and I already had a few of the ingredients.  Now what is this super sexy summer dish?  

Pretty Colours

Recipe:

BBQ Chicken (On the George Foreman) marinated in home-made BBQ sauce

Fried Corn Cakes with Avocado Tartar Sauce

Mango Apple Slaw

Ingredients and Preperation:

BBQ Chicken:

2 boneless skinless breasts which will marinate in the sauce

BBQ Sauce:

2 cups water

1/4 cup sugar

3/4 cup vinegar

3/4 cup apple cider vinegar

1 cup finely chopped onion

3/4 cup ketchup

1 teaspoon black pepper

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

1 teaspoon paprika

2 teaspoons salt

dash ground cayenne pepper 

half a cup of hot sauce like franks

tbsp of super hot sauce, I used a scotch bonnet lime sauce

1. Boil all of the above ingredients for 30 minutes then cover the chicken in a bowl with the sauce and let it chill in the fridge for at least an hour.  Place remaining sauce in a separate bowl  Take out of fridge and bake at 425 degrees for ten minutes a side...put aside, it will be finished on the foreman

Corn Cakes:

3 ears of corn on the cob

1tbsp finely chopped jalapeño

1 green onion-thinly sliced

3/4 cup flour

2 tbsp sugar

1/2 tsp baking soda, baking powder, salt

1 egg

1/2 cup buttermilk

1 tbsp melted butter

1/2 tsp vanilla

canola oil for frying

Avocado Tartar Sauce:

1/4 cup finely chopped dill pickle

1 tbsp capers, drained

1/4 cup mayonnaise

1 small avocado

Lime juice

pinch of salt

chives for garnish

1. For Cakes boil corn 6-8 minutes, slice kernels from cob into a bowl, stir in jalapeño and green onion  (to note: I bought about 150 jalapeños at the market a few months back for $3, now they sit in my freezer, I like me some jalapeños.)

2. In a large bowl, use fork to stir flour with sugar, baking soda, baking powder and salt.  In another bowl whisk egg.  Whisk in buttermilk (to note: I had no buttermilk and my chef friend, informed me if you add about a teaspoon of vinegar to 1% milk and wait ten minutes, buttermilk will emerge victorious!)  then whisk in vanilla and melted butter.  Whisk into flour mixture and then into corn mixture. 

3. Pour a decent amount of oil into a pan and heat on medium, when oil is hot, scoop up about a teaspoon of batter, drop in hot oil and press to form a thick flat cake.  Repeat with as many cakes as you can fit into your pan, and golden brown on both sides.  Put cakes aside...(they reheat ok at 400 degrees, but are obviously better fresh out of the pan)

4. Avocado Tatar Sauce:  Place chopped pickle in a bowl, finely chop capers and add along with the mayo. Mush that avocado up and add to the mix.  Add salt and squeeze the shit out of the lime, (I'm a lime whore, so if your not as into this, reduce the juice.)  Refrigerate for an hour, when serving, place a little dollop on the cakes and sprinkle some black pepper and chives.

Apple Mango Slaw:

1 lime

3/4 cup of mayonnaise

1 tsp celery salt

1 jalapeno

1 ripe but firm mango

2 apples

1 red pepper

1 small napa cabbage

1 cup of cilantro (which I vetoed because my girlfriend doesn't like cilantro...tsk, tsk.)

1. Finely grate lime peel into a large salad bowl, squeeze the shit out of the lime juice.  Stir in mayo and celery salt, chop the jalapeno and add.

2. Peel mango, peel apples, julienne into strips the mango, apples, red pepper and cabbage (my girlfriend did this, as I loathe fine motor tasks) add to the bowl and refrigerate for about an hour.

3,. At this point, your pretty much ready to boogie.  Finish chicken on the Forman (I live in an apartment and therfore do not have a bbq, if you are lucky enough to own a house and a bbq, by all means use it!)  I would also do the corn cakes now, or reheat them in the oven.  You can dip chicken in the remaining bbq sauce as well.  Serve it up with some white wine, or a wheat beer and get dirty with these sexy colours and flavours!  This recipe served two, primarily because I'm a huge eater, but could be adapted to serve four.  Enjoy!!  

Yes my plating skills need improvement and I should probably invest in a better camera, but it tasted good!

In the beginning....

What`s it all mean?

 And so it would appear, that useless thought has suckled my massive nipples and I have floated insignificantly throughout space and time for many years.Despite my continuous belief that I'm absolutely fascinating, my overall demeanour can be described as nothing more than a solider in the “bro-dom army.”  Meaning, it has recently come to my attention that I am what the cool kids would describe as a ‘bro.’ This is partially disturbing, as my mantra has never been to `bro`out with my phallus out…nevertheless, a bro, is what the masses would assume and I'm here to neither agree, nor deny (refer to left picture)…There is however, a part of me that still cries for the theatre, the art, the passion, the mastabatory drive to show the world how fucking brilliant I am!!   I would never admit to joining ranks with the end of modern civilization as we know it, or-`hipsters`,`but I have no problem using the term `bohemian.`  Now, I am neither filthy or play the ukelele and I really like money, but I once lived near Kensington market so that gives me points right?!? 

 Therefore I have coined the term `bro-hemian,` used to describe a contradictory individual that clearly takes himself way to seriously.  Nevertheless, this is not so much a blog filled with my obnoxious rantings as it is a blog about food.

Enough of that...

So what`s with the food blog? Well it`s quite simple...I like food, and I like writing, and I`m bored as shit, so lets combine interests!  Cynicism aside, food has recently emerged as possibly my greatest passion.  The accessible nature of modern foodism, and the fact that anyone can become a psuedo-foodie, has given me hope for the future.  Yes the snobs and classically trained can whine and bitch about the food network and it`s bastardization of the industry; but it`s also opened the door to a whole new audience of joe blows and housewives, who can seriously involve themselves in this wonderful sub-culture.   Everywhere you look, more and more people are cooking cool and exciting options, eating at sexy, innovative restaurants and rightfully turning their noses down to corporate chain hell.  Fuck You Boston Pizza, and your ubiquitous presence across this fair land!  Seriously I drove across Canada last summer and it`s literally in every town!

So this brings me to what it`s all about.  There is no real guideline to this blog...it`s whatever I want to write about food...and I live in a great, often under appreciated town, with variety and excitement and alot of Shawarma.  With that, read onwards and enjoy my hilarious opinions...