When your making Chili...use cooked beans

A few days ago, I was debating my dinner options...I knew I was working till late and wouldn't feel like cooking when I returned, so I decided to prepare something that would reheat brilliantly and also satisfy my buds.  I concluded on the universal delight, Chili.  I'm just going to throw it out there, chili is fantastic.  It's sloppy, it's dirty and you can literally mix and match.  Just throw random shit in the pot and watch it grow; nurse it, caress it, tell it everything's going to be alright....then you let it go...and my  god, it's wonderful...

Anyway, I did a little shopping, organized myself and started the party.  Things were rollin', pieces were taking shape, time to toss in the beans (I friggin love beans, fyi, their extremley under appreciated).   This is the part where things went from good, to really, really bad...


It would appear as though I'm somewhat of an occasional blonde..  Known to fumble with the opening of drawers, or putting a magnet on the fridge, frequent fuck ups with basic tasks litter my existence.  Cooking should not be excluded...you see I had seen red kidney beans in the cupboard earlier that day and didn't think to buy some.  These particular kidney beans were uncooked, all good....I took a mean swig of beer and carelessly emptied the entire bag (over 3 cups worth into the pot.) Stir, stir stir, enjoy the beauty of this red slop before me and not think twice about the fundamentals of bean cookery.  

Chilli before the bean fiasco 

Some time passed, and  I was feeling pretty groovy..I checked the beans; they were still hard...no worries I thought, they should soften after sitting in the pot for a few hours.  However, something inside me said, no....it's all wrong, go check on-line and see how to cook beans.  This is when panic mode set in.  I ran to my computer, looked up cooking red kidney beans, and to my horror I discovered not only did you have to soak them in cold water for hours, but you also had to boil them for hours afterwards.  Even worse, it claimed you could get severely ill from ingesting as little as four.  I had had at least five!  Shit, shit shit...dinners ruined and I'm going to vomit everywhere!  I checked my time, and had about 45 minutes until I had to leave for work.  I couldn't just leave the beans in the pot, and I'm not one to back down from a project...so I did the only thing I could do at this point.....I began picking the beans, one by one out of the pot.

Sweat beaded my forehead, tunnel vision transpired, I stood over that damn pot and shoved my hands inside the mess before me.  One by one, I picked, plucked and scooped every bean I could find.  But I was not done, no no, I was not satisfied, this is not Texas ladies and Gentelemand and I like beans in my god dammed chilli!  So what did I do?  I fucking booked it to the store....ran like a bitch in heat to the closest supermarket, grabbed a 99 cent can of precooked beans and sprinted home.   I poured those bad boys in, with about 15 minutes to spare, jumped in the shower and began to do something I've never done before...pray.

I would return a few hours later, reheated my chili and hoped for the best...you know what?  It wasn't bad, in fact it was awesome, I had somehow saved the day, and had learned a valuable lesson in the end. 

So what's this chili recipe you ask?  Well if done properly it's easy and it's fun, and I include corn chips like fritos for a salty crunch, (seriously try them, they add such a nice consistency)

Matt's Junk Food Chili!

I'm aware you can't really see the chilli, I went a little wild with the fritos and cheese, still tasty!

Ingredients  

11 ounces ground beef 

• 1 (15 ounce) can chili beans, drained (cooked!!!!!)
• 3/8 (15 ounce) can chili beans in spicy sauce
• 5/8 (28 ounce) can diced tomatoes with juice
• 3/8 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
• 3/8 large yellow onion, chopped
• 1 stalk celery, chopped
• 1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped
• 1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
• 2 jalapeños, seeded and chopped
• 1 teaspoon bacon bits
• 1-1/4 cubes beef bouillon
• half a can of beer
• 1 tablespoon and 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 3/4 teaspoon ground cumin
• 2 tablespoon hot  sauce (e.g. Franks)
• 1/4 teaspoon dried basil
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon paprika
• 1/4 teaspoon white sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
• bag corn chips such as Fritos
• shredded Cheddar cheese

1. Heat a large stock pot over medium-high heat. Crumble the ground beef into the hot pan, and cook until evenly browned. Drain off excess grease.

2. Pour in the chili beans, spicy chili beans, diced tomatoes and tomato paste. Add the onion, celery, green and red bell peppers, chile peppers, bacon bits, bouillon, and beer. Season with chili powder, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, oregano, cumin, hot  sauce, basil, salt, pepper, cayenne, paprika, nutmeg, cinnamon and sugar. Stir to blend, then cover and simmer over low heat for at least 2 hours, stirring occasionally

3. After 2 hours, taste, and adjust salt, pepper, and chili powder if necessary. The longer the chili simmers, the better it will taste. Remove from heat and serve, or refrigerate, and serve the next day.

4. To serve, ladle into bowls, and top with corn chips and shredded Cheddar cheese.

There you go!  It's a great recipe and will be a sure hit, as long as you use cooked beans!!